101+ Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry

15+ Hilarious Joke That Will Make You Cry for Adults

• You don’t need a driver license to ride me.
• How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
• How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it’s gone
• What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file
• Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!
• What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes
• I come from a place where “keep talking” means you better shut the fuck up.
• How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
• My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
• My entire life can be summed up in one sentence… “well that didn’t f*cking go as planned.”

• A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
• I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.
• The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
• If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
• Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”, I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”
• Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.

10+ Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: Teens

• What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
• What do a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
• For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
• What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
• I’m mostly “Peace, Love and Light” and a little “Go F*ck Yourself “
• “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.”
• “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
• What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
• Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
• What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students.
• What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.

Hilarious Jokes for Kids

Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.

Q: What music frightens balloons?
A: Pop music.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he never lands.

Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.

Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?

Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.

25+ Funny Jokes That Will Make You Cry

• What would bears be without bees? Ears.
• What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
• What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
• What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
• What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
• What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
• What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry!
• Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
• What did the fish say when he hit the wall? DAM!
• I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
• What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
• What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
• What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
• What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
• What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover
• What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
• What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
• How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
• What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
• What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
• I’m so tired of saying “Oh shit, my mask…”. Like I’m Batman or some shit.
• Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.
• I admit that my level of weirdness is above the average, but i’m comfortable with it.
• Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
• Dear life, when I said “Can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
• Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give to me learn that lesson myself.

Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: One-Liners

• What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
• How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
• How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
• Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
• My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.
• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.
• It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all, rules are rules.
• I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
• I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns naming American vice-presidents, Al Gore first.”
• What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.