GuestBlogging.Pro

Boost Your Website Traffic

Funny Dark Humor Memes and Jokes

Dark Humor Jokes No Limits

My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
************************************************************************************

The cemetery is so overcrowded.
People are just dying to get in.
************************************************************************************

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
************************************************************************************

You’re not completely useless.
You can always serve as a bad example.
************************************************************************************

Why did the old man fall in the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
************************************************************************************

Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Top 10 Best Emo Jokes

1)- What do you call an emo a capella group?
Self Harmony

2)- I started an emo salsa band0
We’re called Hispanic at the Disco

3)- What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board

4)- Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.

5)- Why did the emo kid leave the bar?
It was happy hour.

6)- What do you call an emo vegetable?
A despair-agus

7)- Have you heard about the new emo pizza?
It cuts itself

8)- How do you get an emo kid out of a tree?
You cut the rope

9)- An emo and an apple fall out of a tree. Which one hits the ground first?
The apple, the emo is stopped by the rope.

10)- A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Dark Humor Funny Jokes Memes

My elderly relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
************************************************************************************

I was sad to hear the Head of Latin at my old Catholic school died yesterday.
A mass will be said for him later today. And amo. And amat.
************************************************************************************

What is the only phone you can give to an orphan without being insensitive?
iPhone 11 – It doesn’t have a home button.
************************************************************************************

I really don’t understand the world anymore.
Peter (89), lost his hearing aid.
************************************************************************************

The lady at the job center: “I can offer you 3 positions.”
Me: “That’s very nice of you but what about a job?”
************************************************************************************

Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!
************************************************************************************

My aunt’s star sign was cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
************************************************************************************

What’s the difference between a police officer and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone else, you know it’s been fired.
************************************************************************************

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
************************************************************************************

They say in every friend group there is one willing to commit murder.
I killed the guy I suspected before he could do any harm.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Black Dark Humor Memes

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either terrible news or great news.
************************************************************************************

Mother, what are the bones doing in the piranha aquarium?
Mother? Mooootttthhhheeeer!!!
************************************************************************************

My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
************************************************************************************

Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
************************************************************************************

I have a joke about trickle-down economics.
But 99 per cent of you will never get it.
************************************************************************************

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about.
I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
************************************************************************************

I asked my mirror yesterday if there is anybody prettier than me.
The bastard is still reciting names.
************************************************************************************

Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Best Dark Humor Jokes About Orphans

“Whose ugly child is that?!”
“Excuse me?! That’s my daughter!”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were the father.”
“You what?! I am her mother!!”
************************************************************************************

“My dad drives like the lightning!”
“Wow, he’s that good, yeah?”
“Well I don’t know. He drives really fast
and from time to time he hits a tree.”
************************************************************************************

Two highlanders are talking, “Say, what would you
do if a bear suddenly started attacking your wife?”

“Why would I have to do anything?
He started it, let him defend himself!”
************************************************************************************

Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it’s the only thing that comes back.
************************************************************************************

Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents;
God I love working at orphanages.
************************************************************************************

Hi, Welcome to Dave’s Orphanage
you make them we take them how may I help you?
************************************************************************************

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t jelly a clown into the tiny automobile